I'm the coolest person on earth (if I'm the only one there)

it's time for my 'newest insecurities' post..
If anyone ever bothers reading this crap, they'll notice some personal issues being broadcast out into the light...all intentional i assure you, however direct or poorly expressed they were, it was part of the blog that i thought should be there, to remind myself that i'm not here to show off or anything, and i dont really care if anyone reads this or not, and I'm confident enough to tell about myself that way and not feel like a self concious idiot, or some crazy dude people would shun. But I've always believed that we should live by a conscience through which we define ourselves, in every situation and changes we encounter, certain credos just above the tabula rasa from which we evolved into the adults we are. This just sounds deep but is actually getting crappier the more I try to explain.
insecurity no 1)
my 4th posting, but I'm still scared about my assessment in a few days..I guess it never gets easier, especially when the threat of consequences after a failure is real
2) I'm suddenly feeling pretty lost, like I dont really know myself anymore
3) I havent let go of some things I should have, and I feel that I have yet to accomplish anything in my life

positive consequences:
by acknowledging my weaknesses, I will try to get rid of them, and I now have a goal I can materialize and strive for

I might actually seriously study for the assessment if i get scared enough
the "need to accomplish" might make me do stuff other than work, read stuff, read manga, and stare at the computer screen for hours before dozing off
i dont know much about losing my "selfness" ...maybe it's just a transient feeling.maybe i should get a pet or a girlfriend or something, but I like my privacy, free time (albeit limited) and self-indulgement days right now