Freedom is only for the birds. I got classes. Yeay. Sometimes the laziness sets in, or maybe I get tired all of a sudden. Sometimes I feel like getting away from all of this. But where to? I can’t imagine anywhere else I could be, what else I could do, that could have been better than what I’m doing now, than what I have here.
Other than that, life is beautiful. Жизнь прекрасная.. без проблем..
Почему ты так грустишь?- спросили мои арабские друзья..что-то ни так?кто ни-будь ругатся тебя?... нет мои друзья, я просто устал. Вы нашли меня в неправильном времени...после занятия я иногда так. Ета нормально..можно сказать ета настоящая студенческая жизнь.
Однажды один друг спросил меня- Ты предпоследный курс?.. Я удивился..ета я?считаю, что ето значит очень краткое время осталось, до получения мечты.(чувство страха и предварения о будущее смешают в душе)
(И как чувтвуют наши сестры в шестом курсе- еще несколько шагов до конца обучения?)..но ета может выть еще рано..еще не думают люди, кроме когда в отрицательном настроении как я несколько минут назад..
Here’s a story about “The 99 club” I received by email from kakak noni a few weeks back:
THE 99 CLUB
Once upon a time, there lived a King who, despite his luxurious lifestyle, was neither happy nor content.
One day, the King came upon a servant who was singing happily while he worked. This fascinated the King; why was he, the Supreme Ruler of the Land, unhappy and gloomy, while a lowly servant had so much joy in his heart?
The King asked the servant, "Why are you so happy?"
The man replied, "Your Majesty, I am nothing but a servant, but my family and I don't need too much - just a roof over our heads and warm food to fill our tummies."
Later in the day, the King sought the advice of his most trusted advisor. After hearing the King's woes and the servant's story, the advisor said, "Your Majesty, I believe that the servant has not been made part of The 99 Club."
"The 99 Club? And what exactly is that?" the King inquired.
The advisor replied, "Your Majesty, to truly know what The 99 Club is, place 99 Gold coins in a bag and leave it at this servant's doorstep."
When the servant saw the bag, he took it into his house. When he opened the bag, he let out a great shout of joy... so many gold coins! He began to count them. After several counts, he was at last convinced that there were 99 coins.
He wondered, "What could've happened to that last gold coin? Surely, no one would leave 99 coins!" He looked everywhere he could, but that final coin was elusive. Finally, exhausted, he decided that he was going to have to work harder than ever to earn that gold coin and complete his collection.
From that day, the servant's life was changed. He was overworked, horribly grumpy, and castigated his family for not helping him make that 100th gold coin. He stopped singing while he worked.
Witnessing this drastic transformation, the King was puzzled. When he sought his advisor's help, the advisor said, "Your Majesty, the servant has now officially joined The 99 Club."
He continued, "The 99 Club is a name given to those people who have enough to be happy but are never contented, because they're always yearning and striving for that extra 1 to round it out to 100!
We can be happy, even with very little in our lives, but the minute we're given something bigger and better, we want even more! We lose our sleep, our happiness, we hurt the people around us; all these as a price for our growing needs and desires. That's what joining The 99 Club is all about."
Be content with what we have for happiness is much greater than wealth…
THE END
What do I think about it? Well, no doubt about it, I am part of the 99 club. But I cant help it, I can’t get out, even if my dreaming might be more than the effort I put in, I still am a person who’s trying to gain more than what I already have…it’s not those little things like clothes or little luxuries or anything, I’m comfortable with what I have...it’s those life aims that I can’t forsake. I have my dreams, my aims. I want to be successful, though I don’t really know when I can consider myself successful or what exactly would be the definition of success for me. Without aims, without dreams, how would it be possible to go on with my life? I need the motivation; even with the side effects (I think I do have mood swings, and fatigue, and irritation are something I’m working on). In fact, I need more motivation, since I’m still so lazy and unproductive and all (as far as I could tell). I keep thinking- how do others succeed, because if I don’t figure it out now, I might not have the time later on…
For that reason(since it’s a path I’ve chosen), I must never whine to anyone, I’m not even sure whether I should put this entry out here( if you’re reading it, then I did...maybe as a motivator to me and others, wallahualam). I know my limits, but I try to break them anyway. Maybe I’m not that smart, hehe.
One thing I hope wont be my source of motivation, is the jealousy of other’s successes…since that would mean hatred, and also that I’d be devastated when I start to compare myself with others and find myself wanting in any way, because as we all know, no one is perfect (only that I chase perfection… but is that wrong? And yes it gets silly sometimes as I find myself a lazy bum not cut out for the work laid out)
Someday, either I or someone should tell me to push the brakes, maybe not. But now… maybe it’s best I keep my membership in this club.
Oh, about the Raya celebrations, it’s great…we’ve already been invited to eat twice this week, one at suraya and kham’s house (the 5th yr girls’)- great food as always, the other from the 1st years- surprisingly delicious food too, and we had ‘tapai’ in Volgograd for the first time!
I’m sorry if this entry gets a little too long, boring and maybe depressing… I wish I could write more cheerfully but I guess I couldn’t today…
Not to forget, I recently started a new cycle today – pediatrics. We’ll be having our гос-екзамен on this subject this winter, meaning the exam will be in Russian and is a state level exam, so we have to do it well. Thinking about it makes it more depressing. I haven’t started anything, and I feel like I’ve been fooling around so much, but it’s already so tiring with my daily life and I can’t figure out what’s wrong. i hate being moody!
3 comments:
I get like that once in a while. Wanting more and not being able to get it is actually very devastating, hence the mood swing and all that other am-i-walking-on-the-right-path? sullen gloomy feelings. It would be nice to have people around to tell us to "take five" and "hang in there!"
It's okay because no one said it was easy ;)
gaaa. am not sure if im from the club or not.
after all, if we r paid to do this, and if we flunk, does it mean we r eating dirty money? heh.(thats not me, thats the alter ego speaking.)
and erm, what sister did the arabski telling? urgh. ruski yizik-maei zhizni.
hmm..maybe i shouldnt have posted this.should i delete it?hehe
we should be thankful, but we should struggle for more too..isnt that a paradox?but that's life isn't it?maybe not,i should learn more..
the sisters are our 3 Malay seniors in their 6th course.they have nothing to do with the arabian friends who asked why was i so melancholy, or the friend (he was indian,i didnt mention this) who asked me what it felt like to be in the pre-pasledny kurs..sorry if it got hard to understand.. i just wrote what i wanted, not necessarily correct..hehe
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