Sunday, July 20, 2008

Why did the Chicken Cross The Road?

I had too much time recently, but I don't feel like writing a story of my life just yet.
instead, I tried solving the more difficult questions in life, like
why did the chicken crossed the road...
here are some opinions from well known figures

BARACK OBAMA:

The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!



JOHN MC CAIN:

My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.


HILLARY CLINTON:

When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......



GEORGE W. BUSH:

We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here. If the chicken is against us, it must be dealt with quickly and severely. A loose chicken can be a dangerous terrorist threat to the free world!



DICK CHENEY:

Where's my gun?



COLIN POWELL:

Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...



BILL CLINTON:

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?



AL GORE:

I invented the chicken!



JOHN KERRY:

Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.



PAT BUCHANAN:

Obviously the chicken intended to steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.



DR. PHIL:

The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.



OPRAH:

Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to

give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.



ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been

allowed to have access to the other side of the road.



BARBARA WALTERS:

Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.



NANCY GRACE:

That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.



MARTHA STEWART:

No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No 'little bird' gave me any insider information.



DR SEUSS:

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.



ERNEST HEMINGWAY:

To die in the rain. Alone.



GRANDPA:

In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.



ARISTOTLE:

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.



ALBERT EINSTEIN:

Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?



COLONEL SANDERS:

Did I miss one?



JOHN LENNON:

Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.



BILL GATES:

I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new

platform is much more stable and will never crash...#@&&^(C% ......... reboot




any other ideas?

5 comments:

dith said...

...well, I know for sure that one chicken as crossed the road to become a full fledged doctor! :P

ifos said...

this makes me laugh my heart out. haha..

zyryx said...

haha thanks dith..


yeah me too ifos..me too..

Anonymous said...

zyryx will say :

why the chicken cross the road? why the chicken cross the road? why the chickennnn cross the rooooaaadddd??? soalan ni susah betul

ben says:

chicken today mood baik wanna go find hen so terpaksa laaa cross the road... padahal otak dia tak nak cross the road pun...

Anonymous said...

Well written article.