wish me luck, whoever reads this stuff

T minus 28 days to actual primary exams for MMedAnaes (20-21 april 2015). The post mortem of my mock exams shows how much I lack, as I failed both papers. almost all the candidates failed the mock anyway (1 paper had zero candidates who passed, showing how extremely difficult and strict the marking system is). The silver lining is that my marks weren't too far from the passing margin, giving a little hope of passing the actual exams. The master's programme's primary exams are notorious for having a low passing rate. This piece of bleak information will not deter me to grasp at what little hope I have to pass this attempt, and not repeat this struggle.
Having to work and take care of the family has its toll, especially when there is no study breaks given except for the recent 2-week intensive course and 14 days annual leave (not to be taken in a long stretch in my department). My time is limited, my plan consists of studying (a little)during and after work, as there are almost no other options left. Another big hurdle is the conviction and concentration needed to switch to full studying mode whenever I get the chance, and not at my leisure, even after med school and everything. This is surprisingly hard for me recently.
Lastly my hope lies in prayer for a the best possible outcome for me, and my family.

Wish me luck and please pray for my success

Life gets old,sometimes

So far, I have gained many things

- experience ( to an extent)

- wisdom ( to a certain degree)

- a loving, beautiful family

- weight

- a career with interesting possibilities and room for advancement- if I can pass

I have also lost quite a few things

- my original hairline (i remember it being 3 finger-breadths to my eyebrows doing my school years, then 4 FB in medical school, now it's a whole palm and more  ...hairline, wat r u doing?hairline, STAHP)

- some memories 

   - An intensivist taught me that this is a good thing. Imagine if you can remember EVERYTHING, and have no mechanism of repressing those memories. Imagine being able to feel all the pain in your life, and remembering it all the time. Yep, that's crazy right there. Sign right up to the nearest Hospital Mesra if you have these symptoms.

- a lot of gadgets and stuff

- my earlier level of health and fitness (I'm not physically sick, just a lot less fit)

- unfortunately, friends (well, maybe not exactly 'lost', it's more like 'never kept in touch')

well..not exactly at this level yet

Oh well, at least I still have my sense of humour

And hey, here's that sudden post out of the blue. Why now? As practise for my upcoming exam, let me classify that answer for you

(please put on an english accent, as english as you possibly can like that guy in the dr podcast series. I mean seriously english, so english, you take a sip of tea as you hear that voice in your head, saying bollocks as your imaginary tea doesnt taste like anything, as it's imaginary, and this is utter nonsense)

there are direct and indirect reasons for writing this post

a more direct and easy to understand reason is to test my new bluetooth keyboard I just whimsically bought out of the store. The tactile sensitivity and overall feel is superb, by the way.

an indirect reason is my boredom after 2 weeks of an Intensive Course and another week of leave initially due to a MC for a lumber sprain, which was extended so I could study more for my exam in 32 days. [ We are not given any unrecorded study leave in my department of Anaesthesia in GHKL. Any leave will be recorded as annual leave (max 14days/sem) and there's no chance of taking leave for a week in a stretch before the exams, as there are many of us]

~ now that's a long winding, unnecessary and pity-baiting statement.

PS: bollocks is an old English word for 'testicles'. I googled it up. The more you know!